First Date
Clothes Maketh the Man
So you’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask that girl or guy out on a date and you want to give a good impression, so what do you wear?
This was a dilemma that I recently faced as my wardrobe consists of a variety of jeans in various states of abuse, a collection of Rip Curl t-shirts and some almost worn out Vans Shoes trainers. I also have a couple of really old, crumple shirts last worn at my grandmothers funeral, a smelly old stained suit last worn at a court appearance and a selection of worn out trainers that should really be thrown out. So I was in a dilemma. Should I go clothes shopping, which I hate, or could I borrow something suitable from a friend?
So I called in to see an old friend who suggested that I might borrow some of his fancy designer gear. The problem was size, I am a small and he is enormous. All of his fancy designer clothes were simply far too large. I looked like a lad who’d been trying on his dads suits. I decided to pop over and see anothe good friend who is a bit closer to my small size.
My good friend Kenny is about my size and he has an enormous collection of clothes. The problem is that Kenny is a flamboyant gay with a taste for garish, fluorescent colors and overly tight, stretchy clothes. Kenny suggested that I borrow a pair of his skin tight lime green lycra trousers along with a nasty bright orange t-shirt with a slogan on the front that read ‘Too Drunk to F***’. I didn’t think that this would create the impression I was aiming for so I asked if he had anything else.
That was when Kenny said he had just the thing. A garish purple jumpsuit with a massive collar, covered in rhinestones and sequins. I asked Kenny if he was serious and he told me that this was the suit in which he’d met his current partner and it had made quite an impression. When I tried it on I looked like a really hopeless Elvis impersonator without a quiff or guitar.
Then Kenny opened his third wardrobe full of clothes telling me that this was full of impulse buys that he had never actually worn. When I took a look inside the wardrobe I could see that these were far more suitable than the skintight fluorescent stuff that he had suggested. He had a collection of Nike ACG jackets that he had never worn because they were, in his words, too boring. He had a huge heap of excellent jeans from the likes of Levis and Diesel and a bale of shirts that were all contenders for a good night out.
So my old friend Kenny came through with an excellent little outfit that created such a good impression that the first date led to a second and now I have a girlfriend. I’ve since bought myself some new clothes and treated Kenny to another tasteless tight fluorescent t-shirt in thanks for lending me the winning combo.
blink-182 – First Date